We have scoured the archives to build a wonderful collection of fantastic gambling-related quotes. Archive of Past Quotes Covering Craps & Other Casino Games. Gambling Jokes. Back to: Dirty Jokes. Q: What did the dealer say to the deck of cards? A: "I can't deal with you anymore." Q: What do craps dealers eat for dessert? A. Only the best funny Craps jokes and best Craps websites as selected and voted by visitors of Joke Buddha website.
A roll of an eleven 11 , which can only be rolled with a 6 and 5 with the two dice. Get some chips at the table. Download now it's FREE. Of course writing this has created an urge for a smoke The pit boss will immediately say, Bets are off!
Come and join us at: Crap Joke Central - all welcome. Give me the grace to see a joke, to get some humor out of life and smiling it on to other folk. We try to bust a gut with our funny, Yo Mama, Redneck, lawyer, animal, relationship and crap jokes. You only live once! So make sure you spend 15 hours on the internet everyday, seeking validation from strangers. Friday 10th August - Crap Joke Central - all welcome Q.
Where do you go to weigh a whale? A whale weigh station. I phoned the Weak Bladder Helpline about my problem. It's 1p a minute. I got work this morning to find a lump of Plasticine on my desk. I don't know what to make of it. Crap Joke Central Q What happened to the guy who assaulted the laughing psychic? A He was arrested for striking a happy medium. I've been charged with murder for killing a man with sandpaper. I only intended to rough him up a bit.
I don't know why I even bother having a smartphone anymore. It spends so much time on charge, you might as well call it a land-line. What go's peck peck Bang, peck peck Bang? A flock of chickens in a mine field! Crap Joke Central Last night i tried sharing a bag of chips with a homeless man who was sat on the curb If your car could travel at the speed of light, would your headlights work Female response when hit with the chatup line You reply "I don't know Last night I dreamed I was the author of Lord of the Rings I was Tolkien in my sleep.
Crap Joke Central Has anyone else noticed those clowns in all the Big C supermarkets that try to hide from gay people?
I pushed her down, and she responded by spreading her legs, and using two fingers, she opened her pussy for me to invade.
Ну как, согласны. Кроме того, я и сам не спортсмен. Развратницы начали заигрывать с гостями и соблазняли их на интимную близость. I pushed my face into her thighs and began sucking on it, my tongue darting deep inside her. Из-за стены послышался голос.
What did the dealer say to the deck of cards? What do craps dealers eat for dessert? How's a casino like a good woman? Liquor in the front, poker in the back! What's the difference between prayer in church and prayer in a casino? In a casino, you really mean it! How can you tell if a poker player is bluffing? His chips are moving. When is the only time you split tens in BlackJack?
When the table is full and your buddies need a seat. What kind of shark is always gambling? Why isn't gambling allowed in Africa? Because of all the cheetahs Q: What does a gambling addict eat? Poker Chips and Salsa. How were Adam and Eve prevented from gambling? Their paradise pair-o-dice was taken away from them! What does a BlackJack player eat for dinner? Whatever his comp card allows him to. Whats the difference between poker players and politicans? Politicans tell the truth.
Whats the difference between online poker and live poker? You can cry after a bad beat online and no one will laugh at you. What's the difference between a poker player and a dog? In about ten years, the dog quits whining. What did a blonde from England bring a bag of french fries to a poker game? Someone told her to bring her own chips. What card game do lesbians play? What do vampires play poker for? Why are most gamblers married? Because marriage is a gamble. What's the hardest thing about play mini baccarat?
Telling your parents your gay! How do you get a professional poker player off your front porch? Pay him for the Pizza. One Liners Love is gambling, not with money but with your heart. You can always get money back, but you might not get your heart back. If it weren't for the drug use, degenerate gambling, and drinking I would be a great catch.
Chuck-E-Cheese, because it's never too early to introduce your child to poor nutrition and gambling I can support my gambling habit without a job, but I want one so I can support it even more. Girls are like blackjack, I'm trying to go for 21 but I always hit on I found a way to keep my husband from gambling.
There were no toilets around and the men had no toilet paper! The man took a crap in the forest, but then had noting to wipe his butt with. He asked his friend what to do, and his friends said to wipe his butt with a 1 dollar bill.
The friend asked what happened and the man said, "I didn't have a 1 dollar bill, so I used 4 quarters! There were these people and there names were Shut-up crap and manners they driving down a highway and were speeding crap seen something out the window and jumped to get it so manners went after him so shut-up was all alone.
Shut-up was speeding and a cop pulled him over and said whats your name he was like Shut-up and the cop was like whats your name he was like Shut-up and the cop was like wheres your manners Shut-up was like 5 miles back picking up crap!!
There are three guys named Manners, Shutup, and Crap. They were really bored, so they decided to run a race. During the race, Crap fell down, and Manners stopped to help him. But Shutup ran so fast the police caught him.
Here's how the conversation went: Back there picking up Crap! Three men were discussing aging on the steps of the nursing home. And most of the time, you stand at the toilet and nothing comes out! You take laxatives, eat bran, you sit on the toilet all day and nothin' comes out!